True meditation does not have a meditator

Reminds me of a quote from Ashtavakra Gita....

He whose mind does not set out to meditate or act, still meditates and acts but without an object. 18.31

I do not see any purpose of meditation if there is a meditator involved. As that goes against the principle of meditation. In true meditation, there is no meditator. There is no one trying to meditate. 

As the quote states here, he whose mind does not set out to meditate but still meditates. This is such a beautiful statement and if you truly understand what it means, you will appreciate its beauty. 

I am not setting out to meditate but I still meditate. Beautiful! 

This is true meditation. Then meditation happens without a meditator. 

So sit for meditation but let not the meditator appear in this process. 

No such thing as Self Knowledge or Self Realization

Now before all the seekers start jumping on me, let me explain what I am trying to say here :)

There is no such thing as self knowledge or the knowledge of the self. The Brahman of the Upanishads or the Self/Absolute of the philosophers can never be known by anyone other than itself.

Because if the Absolute can be known, it becomes an object of knowledge. And how can an object be the truth? So that is ruled out.

But still there are self realized people. And I am not denying the existence of self realized people. But they do not know the self. They can never know the self. So why are they self realized? What does it exactly mean?

I will not give an answer to this question. Rather I want you to contemplate on this question. What is Self Knowledge or Realization when the Self can never be known or realized by anything other than the Self itself.

I will give one hint to a serious seeker that may open the doors to a new realization. Self is beyond time, beyond space. And the mind that is a function of time and space can never know that which is beyond. Only in the absence of the mind, the self will shine forth and reveal itself. I don't know to whom is reveals itself but it does. This is where it becomes impossible to express. No words can describe that experience or non-experience.

Enlightenment is Now!

Various schools of thoughts teach techniques to attain the state of enlightenment. And the assumption is that the seeker will follow the technique with devotion and faith and eventually his effort reaches fruition and the ultimate realization of truth dawns.

One has to be extremely careful when treading this path. If it is not understood carefully, this journey can become a never-ending journey and the seeker can never become free from seeking.

Ultimately the seeker needs to die. As long as the seeker is present, the seeking will continue. And seeking is always in the future. It is never now. You seek now to get something in the future. But Truth is in the Now and you miss that "Now" as you are busy seeking something in the future. This future will never come. As when the future actually becomes the Now, you are still seeking. And this becomes a never ending journey of endless seeking.

Enlightenment is Now. It is in this moment. So don't seek now; cause you have missed the Truth.

Does that mean we should drop seeking? That is also not correct. You cannot really drop seeking. As seeking is your nature. But you can drop all ideas about seeking. All ideas about Truth. And then the very process of seeking is the truth. You are no longer seeking truth in the future. But you are seeking and experiencing the truth now. As Enlightenment is Now, not tomorrow.

Effort Grace Enlightenment

Enlightenment cannot happen through effort alone. But effort is necessary for enlightenment. Because it is only through effort that we become the recipient of grace.

Enlightenment happens only through grace. It is said luck favors the brave. Similarly grace favors the one who makes effort.

You can never really Observe

It has been a notion that one can Observe one's feelings, thoughts, emotions and actions and eventually be free from them. But the truth is that one can never really observe.

Let us say that one is trying to be free from the emotional roller coaster one is going through. And this person decides to observe his or her emotions. The moment you observe the emotion ceases to exist in that moment. As the very same emotion transforms itself to be the observer. Once the observer disappears the emotion sets back in.

You are either the emotion or the observer but both can never coexist. And this coexistence is an illusion created due to thought. We may "think" that we are observing something but there is no real observation. Its just thinking. There can never be observation at the realm of the mind.

When you observe a thing or an emotion with the mind, you become that thing. Lets say I am watching TV. In the moment I am engrossed in the TV episode, my mind is the episode. It cannot stand outside of it and observe it. Once the episode is over, the mind can start thinking about it and in that moment the mind becomes the thought. But there is no real observation.

As long as the mind is present, the observer is the observed or the observed is the observer. Observer is non-different from the observed. And observer is nothing but the grand accumulation of all the things observed in the past. So they are wedded together as they are coming from the same essence.

Transformation not a factor of time

It has been conventionally believed that transformation is a factor of time. We think that by doing some action now, we can become something else tomorrow. In order to transform or change, we believe that time plays an important role and its a process in time that brings about a transformation. 

The ego is a function of time. And ego persists in time and creates this illusion of time. And all our effort has been carried out in time alone. The ego believes strongly that its effort in time can result in a transformation of itself where it ceases to exist. In short ego is trying to kill itself continuously in time.

We need to understand here that ego has a survival instinct. And it can never really kill itself as its against its own nature. It has no gains in killing itself. It thrives on its existence and affirmation of its being. And all spiritual quest has been carried out by the ego. It thinks that its going to achieve something grand, something spectacular. So in this whole process of seeking, the ego does everything else except giving up itself. 

Let me give you an example. Lets say, I tell you that ego needs to give up. And only then realization comes forth. The ego will understand this as a concept, an idea and try to implement on this. It will always ask a question...how am I supposed to do it. What should I do? Give me a task and I will get it done. Should I meditate or should I contemplate or should I try to be aware. And I just smile at these questions as they were my questions too. These are the questions of every seeker. 

And there is no clear answer. All I can say is there is nothing you can do to achieve it. Absolutely nothing. The question what should I do is meaningless. Sorry, you cannot do anything. And this understanding is enough. After that if something happens its grace. If nothing happens, who cares? There is nobody waiting for something to happen, isn't it?

Like to quote the late Allan W Anderson's poem.....

Silent as a petal’s power. Silken as the rain. Love unbinds the ancient knot. Time interlaced in vain - Allan W. Anderson

Right here, Right now..

I was surprised when it was revealed to me that the Truth is right here, right now. It was the first glimpse of the Absolute as it were. And once having been in that wonderland, it comes with a stamp of guarantee that its present always, all the time and beyond time and space. You may call it awareness or bliss but attributes are still a construct of the mind.

Once the gates of the absolute are open, there is no going back. There is no state to be experienced any more. As you are that. The mind just merges back into the source. The experiencer, the experienced and the experience all dissolve into that vast singularity that remains statically ever present. Time and Space consciousness dissolves completely and what remains is the inexpressible.

This was revealed to me on Aug 17th, 2014. All this while I was searching everywhere. I was searching the truth in logic, in reasoning and in my meditations. But in lay mans term it comes as a bummer that truth was right here, right now. Its neither inside nor outside. Its nowhere but everywhere. You can never find it as you are it.

This is just the beginning of the journey. And this journey is infinite. Its not my journey anymore. It is a journey. Its a journey of mankind. And like any other journey, this journey does not happen in time or space. It cannot be experienced. It cannot be expressed. It cannot be described. But it is; and without it nothing is.

Reading - A motivation more than knowledge

After reading all the Upanishads and the Gita and other spiritual and philosophical literature, I was under the impression that no more reading is necessary as I have acquired all the knowledge that I need to and the onus now is to put that knowledge into practice. My observation was or is that I cannot really practice as I keep lacking the motivation. And this motivation kicks back in the moment I try to read again.

Thus I realized that reading has to be continued. It is no longer a tool for knowledge but a tool for motivation. For the mind to soar into the lofty heights of the higher planes of consciousness, a continuous dose of spiritual reading is necessary.

Even if one spends 10 mins in a day reading the same truth over and over again, it will help. For that reason, I have written on my office room whiteboard the following words....."House is on Fire. You are That". So that every time I look up, I am reminded of the urgency of the situation and my true nature. 

Time is always Victorious

Sometimes we are faced with challenges in life where we struggle to make things right but unfortunately we are not able to. We try and try and try; and in the process of trying we exhaust ourselves completely. We might see some ray of hope or try to sugar coat the problem temporarily but the problem strikes back with venomous force back again. And we are thrown back into the dungeon deeper and deeper. We lose sight completely and feel that this never ending saga is a permanent affair. We might decide to give up and let go of the battle completely as there is no energy left.

What we do not realize in this process is that we are not really fighting the problem but we are fighting with time. And one thing is certain that time is always victorious. Trying to solve a problem with the time is not appropriate is a futile attempt. In fact it aggravates the problem, makes it worse, renders us devoid of energy and finally we give up. Time moves on but we don't. Because time decimates us. We are left behind with the problem and time continues.

Consider an analogy where you are inside a dark tunnel and trying to find your way out. There is no way you can cross the tunnel till you actually walk the entire path. There are no shortcuts. If you make an attempt to get out in the middle it will be an impossible mission. The only wise thing that you can do is to wait and walk the path and let the circumstances be the way they are. Don't resist them, don't fight them nor indulge with them. Just observe and walk the path. Do not react or try to change anything anywhere. You may stop for a minute to give your humble opinion or suggestion but you should keep walking. Because your only solace and light is in walking all the way out of the tunnel.

This tunnel is the Time. And you cannot escape the force of time. If time ordains, things will be the way they were supposed to be. And our attempt to change things will worsen the situation even more as your action is against the force of time. And remember, Time is always victorious.Time will decimate you if you decide not to flow with it.

When the time is right, everything will change automatically without our intervention effortlessly. Because we have walked out of the tunnel now. We are thrown into a new surrounding. The sun shines and the flowers are blooming once again. And now, we don't even need to fight the problem anymore as Time has decimated the problem.

Either you allow time to decimate you or decimate the problem. By fighting the problem at an inappropriate time, you allow time to annihilate yourself. By allowing time to take its course and not trying to solve the problem at the wrong time, you allow time to obliterate the problem completely. So the choice is yours.

I would like to end this by quoting a beautiful statement made by J.Krishnamurti - "my secret is that I don't mind what happens".

Reminds me of a Zen koan

The Zen master Hakuin was praised by his neighbours as one living a pure life.
A beautiful Japanese girl whose parents owned a food store lived near him. Suddenly, without any warning, her parents discovered she was with child.
This made her parents angry. She would not confess who the man was, but after much harassment at last named Hakuin.
In great anger the parent went to the master. "Is that so?" was all he would say.
After the child was born it was brought to Hakuin. By this time he had lost his reputation, which did not trouble him, but he took very good care of the child. He obtained milk from his neighbours and everything else he needed.
A year later the girl-mother could stand it no longer. She told her parents the truth - the real father of the child was a young man who worked in the fishmarket.
The mother and father of the girl at once went to Hakuin to ask forgiveness, to apologize at length, and to get the child back.
Hakuin was willing. In yielding the child, all he said was: "Is that so?"

Have you made enough deposits?

In relationships, there are expectations and when there are expectations it leads to trouble. But what forms the basis of the trouble? It is not the negation of expectations but rather an absence of positive assertiveness, a sense of showering on the other person that leads to trouble.

Even if all expectations are met, the "dil maange more". So meeting expectations may not suffice and may not be the panacea for all issues in relationships. To maintain a good relationship, you need to make deposits.

Just like a bank account, you make deposits and you can withdraw only when you have enough money in the account; similarly in a relationship you need to make positive actions to surpass the expectations of the other person. And in return what you get is something remarkable. You get a free leash to break some expectations if they are deemed reasonable.

So for a healthy relationship, instead of trying to find out what other persons expectations are, one should go above and beyond meeting those expectations to create enough deposits. And once that trust is established, you carry with you the freedom to withdraw from your responsibilities temporarily if it is needed due to various reasons.

The effortless effort

As I was understanding more and more about the process of enlightenment or self realization, it occurred to me that dropping the mind and body idea is the key.

But what about the baggage? The years and years of karmic baggage that we have carried since time immemorial; what to do about it? Can that be ignored completely. I am not sure about it.

For e.g. I can spend the entire day in a void; where I have to think only when there is a need. Otherwise there is no thinking. But it seems that thoughts seem to rise every now and then but they wither apart in the light of this grand understanding. But where do these thoughts come from? And can there be real enlightenment in the presence of this reservoir? Do we have to completely empty this reservoir for enlightenment to happen?

I think that the reservoir has to be emptied. That is an absolute necessity. And to abide in this silence, to kill every thought is the process. This way the path becomes the goal. This then becomes the effortless effort.