Time is always Victorious

Sometimes we are faced with challenges in life where we struggle to make things right but unfortunately we are not able to. We try and try and try; and in the process of trying we exhaust ourselves completely. We might see some ray of hope or try to sugar coat the problem temporarily but the problem strikes back with venomous force back again. And we are thrown back into the dungeon deeper and deeper. We lose sight completely and feel that this never ending saga is a permanent affair. We might decide to give up and let go of the battle completely as there is no energy left.

What we do not realize in this process is that we are not really fighting the problem but we are fighting with time. And one thing is certain that time is always victorious. Trying to solve a problem with the time is not appropriate is a futile attempt. In fact it aggravates the problem, makes it worse, renders us devoid of energy and finally we give up. Time moves on but we don't. Because time decimates us. We are left behind with the problem and time continues.

Consider an analogy where you are inside a dark tunnel and trying to find your way out. There is no way you can cross the tunnel till you actually walk the entire path. There are no shortcuts. If you make an attempt to get out in the middle it will be an impossible mission. The only wise thing that you can do is to wait and walk the path and let the circumstances be the way they are. Don't resist them, don't fight them nor indulge with them. Just observe and walk the path. Do not react or try to change anything anywhere. You may stop for a minute to give your humble opinion or suggestion but you should keep walking. Because your only solace and light is in walking all the way out of the tunnel.

This tunnel is the Time. And you cannot escape the force of time. If time ordains, things will be the way they were supposed to be. And our attempt to change things will worsen the situation even more as your action is against the force of time. And remember, Time is always victorious.Time will decimate you if you decide not to flow with it.

When the time is right, everything will change automatically without our intervention effortlessly. Because we have walked out of the tunnel now. We are thrown into a new surrounding. The sun shines and the flowers are blooming once again. And now, we don't even need to fight the problem anymore as Time has decimated the problem.

Either you allow time to decimate you or decimate the problem. By fighting the problem at an inappropriate time, you allow time to annihilate yourself. By allowing time to take its course and not trying to solve the problem at the wrong time, you allow time to obliterate the problem completely. So the choice is yours.

I would like to end this by quoting a beautiful statement made by J.Krishnamurti - "my secret is that I don't mind what happens".

Reminds me of a Zen koan

The Zen master Hakuin was praised by his neighbours as one living a pure life.
A beautiful Japanese girl whose parents owned a food store lived near him. Suddenly, without any warning, her parents discovered she was with child.
This made her parents angry. She would not confess who the man was, but after much harassment at last named Hakuin.
In great anger the parent went to the master. "Is that so?" was all he would say.
After the child was born it was brought to Hakuin. By this time he had lost his reputation, which did not trouble him, but he took very good care of the child. He obtained milk from his neighbours and everything else he needed.
A year later the girl-mother could stand it no longer. She told her parents the truth - the real father of the child was a young man who worked in the fishmarket.
The mother and father of the girl at once went to Hakuin to ask forgiveness, to apologize at length, and to get the child back.
Hakuin was willing. In yielding the child, all he said was: "Is that so?"

Have you made enough deposits?

In relationships, there are expectations and when there are expectations it leads to trouble. But what forms the basis of the trouble? It is not the negation of expectations but rather an absence of positive assertiveness, a sense of showering on the other person that leads to trouble.

Even if all expectations are met, the "dil maange more". So meeting expectations may not suffice and may not be the panacea for all issues in relationships. To maintain a good relationship, you need to make deposits.

Just like a bank account, you make deposits and you can withdraw only when you have enough money in the account; similarly in a relationship you need to make positive actions to surpass the expectations of the other person. And in return what you get is something remarkable. You get a free leash to break some expectations if they are deemed reasonable.

So for a healthy relationship, instead of trying to find out what other persons expectations are, one should go above and beyond meeting those expectations to create enough deposits. And once that trust is established, you carry with you the freedom to withdraw from your responsibilities temporarily if it is needed due to various reasons.